The late Jim McCauley, the producer whose job was to select the comics and help hone their material was preparing me for a second Tonight Show appearance in late 1984. My first shot didn't get me called to the couch like Steven Wright, but I did get the runner-up prize. After the show the King of Late Night TV walked from the stage to his second floor office to host a post mortem on the show. A young comic who pleased Mr. Carson was placed on the route for a quick hello, handshake and picture.

For this second appearance I proposed doing edgier jokes, which always killed in the clubs. Jim, who understood the difference between TV and nightclub audiences, and more importantly Johnny's tastes, nixed the material on suicide and heart attacks. So we prepared to close with different material. The night of the show, I'm begging Jim to let me put back in the heart attack material. I had a new bit on Barney Clark, the recipient of the world's first artificial heart. The Barney Clark material was a reaction to one of the doctors who claimed after the operation "Mr. Clark would lead a pretty normal life." I complained that it would at least hinder his bowling game, ending the bit by mimicking Clark trying to pick up a spare while dragging the two hundred pound heart-pump. I then went onto scary life saving techniques, such as the defibrillator. This bit ended with doctors using two sets of paddles and a patient to play a game of tennis. Jim is reluctant to add these jokes. I am relentless, a crazed comic who wanted to be the first on TV to do Barney Clark material. Jim finally relented.

As the laughter from my last joke ebbed, I looked over, expecting Johnny to signal me to the couch. Instead he gave me the circled thumb-forefinger "okay" signal, which meant, "Stay back you hack. Stay back." I left the stage confused. I had killed, but still no couch.

I went into my dressing room to begin my ritual of a post show drunk. Moments later Jim McCauley entered. We talk while watching the rest of the show on a monitor. As the show ended I started for the door, thinking to at least get a handshake from Johnny for a job well done as after my first shot. Jim blocked my path and said apologetically, "It's my fault for letting you do those jokes. I knew Johnny would hate that hear attack stuff. You know he smokes three packs a day and worries about having a heart attack. We better stay in here for awhile." I didn't get back on the show until I quit drinking, and Johnny quit smoking, a year later.